'I recorded our surrogacy journey to help others'

A couple said they decided to document their journey to have a child via a surrogate after feeling there was "no information" available about the process.

Kevin Pittuck-Bennett, 46, and his husband Michael, 38, from Chelmsford, had their two-month-old daughter, Peggy, in 2024 via surrogacy, which is when a woman carries a pregnancy for another couple or individual.

In the UK commercial surrogacy is illegal and a third party cannot profit from matching people, but it is not illegal for a surrogate to be paid expenses.

Mr Pittuck-Bennett, who works in advertising, made videos throughout the process with Michael, who is a hairstylist, to help others navigate surrogacy with "less complications".

"It's a humbling process," Mr Pittuck-Bennett said, "there are all sorts of emotions that we weren't prepared for."

Surrogacy laws have been in place in the UK since 1985.

The law states a surrogate is deemed the legal mother when the baby is born - irrespective of genetics or any agreements that have been made.

A parental order must be made to transfer legal parentage to the intended or biological parents.

Parental orders in England and Wales rose from 117 in 2011 to 413 in 2020.

In 2021 statistics showed that two-thirds of applicants for parental orders are now mixed-sex couples often in their 30s or 40s.

Kevin and Michael started the process of having a family via surrogacy in 2021, but quickly realised there was a lack of information available.

Sarah Jones, the chief executive officer at Surrogacy UK, said: "The UK surrogacy community in the UK is really unique in the fact that we operate altruistically, so nobody is allowed to make profit, nobody is allowed to financially profit from surrogacy in the UK."

Kevin and Michael said they have kept in touch with their surrogate two months after the birth of their daughter.

Mr Pittuck-Bennett said : "The whole ethos of surrogacy is friendship first. She is going to be a part of our lives forever. She's definitely a special auntie. We do feel we are bonded for life.

"You've got an element of guilt because someone is doing this for you and they don't have to. Then you've got the worry because they're ill and the potential baby could be unwell," Mr Pittuck-Bennett added.

"I buried my head in the sand because we could only deal with so much. When we weren't talking to our lovely surrogate, we were doing life as normal.

"We learnt that you don't have much control over the process. The power is with the surrogate and you hope that they choose you.

"You have to put yourself out there and be attractive to ladies who want to do this wonderful thing for you.

"Of course they should have the power, it's their body."

Mr Pittuck-Bennett documented the couple's journey chronologically on YouTube, to provide information for others.

"I'm not a professional expert, but I've lived it and done it.

"Hopefully it will help same-sex and straight couples figure out the rules and navigate the process."

Ms Jones said: "The laws around surrogacy are really straightforward, it is really hard to find that information because I think everything is geared up towards US surrogacy and the commercial model.

"There is a really thriving UK surrogacy community and there are various ways you can interact with that community."

Helen Gibson, the founder of the campaign group, Surrogacy Concern, said: "We don't support surrogacy for anyone, we understand that a lot of people want to have a genetic child of their own, but it is very exploitative for women.

"No-one looks at it from the perspective of the child" who needs their biological mother when they are first born, she said.

"Fostering, adoption and co-parenting are all options before surrogacy."